I can’t help but think of that Sex and the City episode where Charlotte decides she is going to find a husband.  Oddly, she is willing to try anything and do anything to be a Mrs somebody.  Later in the season she finds him.  Can we truly set a plan in motion to make love happen?  Whatever happened to falling in love?  What should a lady do?  Sit or Search. Wait or Work.

My friends all tell me I’m a great catch.  The guys seeking to get my attention have said the same.  Too bad they don’t think so when I’m not willing to put out what they want.  Call me bad but I often wonder how some with little to no goals in life, not easy on the eyes, and general F–K ups end up with significant others but I remain solo. What’s the secret to success?

According to this article, “How to make 2011 your year for love,” I have to create a three-part plan.  The work is not mine alone either.   According to Barrie Dolnick, there are three lessons in this love curriculum:

Lesson 1 – Practical love plan

ID friends and family to find me someone.  Canvas my coworkers.  Update my internet profiles as the seasons change.

Lesson 2 – As if method

Live as if I’m already in a relationship.  Loosen my schedule, Clean my closet, Learn to nurture, and Improve on skills and interests

Lesson 3 – The blueprint

Here’s my favorite.  It sounds like a voodoo, Jedi mind trick.

This must take place after sunset between Dec. 20 and Jan. 13. Light a candle and sit comfortably. In the present tense, create a list of the qualities in a relationship that I desire.  Next, create the power to possess this love in my life. Read the list aloud.  Reading in silence will not work! It is the power of my voice and word which will pull this list into  my reality.  Cool, huh?

I don’t know if Ms. Dolnick is a Mrs or if what she says will work.  I do know I’m 36 not 26. I no longer feel like I’ll live forever and don’t want to die without the love of my life.  I have not forgotten about my 36 dates for my 36th year.  I’ve only completed 16 so that leaves me with 20 dates in 4 months.  So Monday night, I’ll find a quiet place to create my blueprint and read it under candlelight.   What’s the worst that can happen? Nothing .. which is no different from what’s happening on the love front right now

Today brings me to date 4.  I’m all dressed up but it’s cold and raining.  I am tired after a long day so what do I do?  Answer (you guessed it) go to Starbucks.  I feel like an advertisement ad.  Maybe if I were smart and gregarious I would write them something witty and start a new career in acting in commercials lol.  In the meantime, I will just envision the day when I won’t need to need to spend time alone unless I need a break. As opposed to spending time alone to heal from the frustrations. 

It’s funny as I write this ad the possibility of what I seek is already happening.  It’s funny how things happen.  I link up with an old friend.  Our link is strengthened and explored to see if we should follow a more romantic course.  Now we’re planning a trip for memorial day.  Nice.  I can’t help but secretly wonder if we’ll survive the test of time, distance, and life but maybe the rest of these dates I take myself on will help me figure it all out. Anyhoo, back to the task at hand.  Date 4 can be called Venti Java chip off the old block.  Note to self extra coffee, espresso, caramel, mocha, and whipped means meal in and off itself.  No need for the sandwich. 

One of the things I like about life without a little child is the fact that I don’t need to rush home from work.  However, that same thing means I’m an empty nester.  What will I do with the rest of my time?  Movies and reading are such solitude activities.  Bible Study and volunteering for church are not daily activities.. The search for ideas is starting to become a chore.  Today I search helped me find a number of  websites 

                                   Events listings when and where you need

                                  Discover Things to Do

                                  DC and beyond

                                  Kennedy Center for free

                                 National Gallery of Art

Then it dawned on me… I have not determined the definition of date.

Maybe that’s why I have not been as successful in dating lately.  If I cannot tell what a real date is, then can I expect to have a successful dating experience with someone?  Tonight, I define.  Tomorrow I validate. On my birthday I can build a better mouse trap.  Cool, huh?  If I can say I can usher in my 36th birthday with a template for dates, then dating Mr. Right might be easier. 

What is a date?  Is it getting dressed up and going somewhere?  Is it finding time to spend together at home?  Is it planning a ton of things or doing nothing at all? Is it just about the quality of the time spent?  I looked it up and here’s what I found:

Well, whatever I determine it to be, let me have the pleasure of good company, lessons learned, and fun in the process.

Wish me luck!

So that I would not chicken out, I looked for a free event in my city (ha ha who am I kidding this place is like a one horse town at times but that’s another blog entry) and decided to go.  I told myself I’d wear something nice (afte all my date would appreciate the view , pack a snack and remember to stop by Starbucks’ for their happy hour treat http://www.frappuccino.com/ before going to watch a free movie outdoors. 

Hey I figured it’s a beautiful day. The sun’s shining, the temp is perfect, and you can’t beat free.  While  I did not know what movie would play, I’m sure it would be okay and if it’s not I could leave.  I got there and it was Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs!  Awesome that describes my life perfectly.  Nerdy at times but generally a good character simply looking to do good in life and meet someone who will appreciate me (with or without my glasses).

I am looking forward to the next 35 dates. Maybe I’ll learn something about myself, love, relationships, life, yada yada yada.  Maybe the events will open my eyes to something new.  Maybe this Maybe that… One cool thing is I know this month will be chocked with fun b/c I’ll be dating someone I care about  hehe.  How cool will it be to journal about all these events? I’m excited.  I think I’m going to call this marathon dating thing… Wondering, wishing, and waiting

I think I’m in one of those need to feel a cerebral challenge.  I normally get a little moody with lack of sleep so I won’t make this a long entry.  I simply wonder what would holidays really be like if not filled with propaganda and hype from the media, restaurants, card companies, etc.  Wouldn’t it be nice to pay proper respect to those who lost their lives on Memorial day or soldiers who served their time and are now home on Veterans Day.

I simply wonder what’s the point?  I know I shouldnt get worked up.  It’s not like any of these “holidays” are in my honor.  Artificial holidays and forgotten history still both me.  So even though it’s no longer 5/5 I am sending prayers up to the Mexicans who fought for what so many Americas take for granted.

Nite

When I think of all the rules, expectations, and stereotypes placed on men and women, I find the whole thing to be very confusing.  Not sure when love and relationships became so complicated.  Not sure why if there is someone out there for everyone, do we have such a hard time finding our life partner.  Could it be where we look?  Could it be who we look for?  Could it be that after a number of tries, the problem is not other but ourselves?  I don’t know and not sure I’ll ever know.  After all, there are thousands of books on the subject and no one has gotten it right yet. 

I am told that women should be found rather than seeking the man of their dreams.  I’m told men should be the head of the household.  I’m told that when it’s right, I’ll know.  I’m told that happily ever after is a fairy tale.  I’m told a lot of things.  I wish I knew if all the things I’m told would help me.  At this stage in the game, while I learn to be happy alone I know I don’t want to die alone.  If I can’t find love at work and work long hours, where does that leave me?  If I can’t find love outside of work (church, grocery shopping, trip to the mall, or musuem) , then the internet seems like a good idea.  However, so far that has not been the case. 

I don’t think anyone will see this entry but if the occasional lost soul trips upon the entry, I hope he/she leaves a comment

pasta

tomato sauce

meatballs

I rock

Terry’s smile, wink, walk, you name it …

while looking at me

while being playful

Having an outlet that makes me proud

eager to get up

eager to continue

Things are the things that make me say yumm-o.  It’s a feel good moment for sure .  Even if work is crazy as heck

No long story to write or issues to reveal.  Just feeling nostalgic and reflective as I completed “The Ultimate Gift”

Great movie.